Disciplining children

I recently attended a seminar on parenting and here are some lessons I learnt in terms of disciplining-
1. Kids need to learn to obey. Dont let them manipulate you. Never do the counting - I'll count to 3 and you do it. They need to learn to obey when you say once. And if they dont let them know the consequences. It could be no tv time, or no chocolate or a spanking and make sure you do it.
2. Be consistent in your disciplining. If you say they will be punished if they dont obey, then be consistent at all times. Dont let them go one day and punish on some days. That will confuse the child.
3. Regarding beating/spanking - I know that recent secular parenting forums advocate for no spanking etc. But the Bible says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and a rod of correction will drive it out. And spare the rod, hate your child. So beating/spanking is not necessarily wrong. It may not be necessary if your child has learnt to listen with just you telling them. But if they dont listen, or do something wrong disciplining is necessary. But as others have mentioned - dont do it in your anger. Calm yourself first but let the child know that they will receive a spanking for their disobedience. Dont do it in front of others (it will cause them shame). Do it in private and explain why they have to get this beating.
4. If you do beat in anger, go apologize to them. Not for the disciplining but for your anger. They will learn that we all make mistakes but must apologize.
5.. God has entrusted the child into your hands and not you into the child's hands. Just as God in His love will discipline us even if we dont like it, we must discipline our children if we truly love them.
6. Above all, the time you give to them teaching and training them in the ways of the Lord is very important. It's never too early to teach them to word of God. Spending time in prayer for your children is very important. I'm sure you've read about Suzanna Wesley spending time praying for each of her 18 kids separately! 2 of her kids were John wesley and Charles Wesley!

Some verses from the bible in this regard.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
Proverbs 23:13‭-‬14

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 13:24 ESV

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15 ESV

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.
Hebrews 12:7‭-‬10
[11/10/2018, 10:33 PM] Sharon Preeti: Children know they can get their way with grandparents and other family members. Tell the others also that these are the rules for her. If the parents are consistent with discipline, then other family members will also ultimately come to terms with the boundaries you have set for your child.
Children also test the boundaries and see how much we will give in. We need to be firm, especially in the beginning.

Nice to see good & meaningful discussion over the matter. Praise God. I was thinking, whether I'm the only person who beats kids. I know it's not wrong to do within godly limits

https://www.google.co.in/amp/s/www.gotquestions.org/amp/disciplining-children.html

Would encourage those interested to read this for a biblical response to disciplining children..

Disciplining kids with love (happens only when you are emotionally stable) - *OK*

Disciplining when you are angry or emotionally unstable (less or no love) yelling/scolding/spanking or hitting  - *NOT OK*

We cannot say i always love my child even if I yell at him/her.(which I do)

Love is a choice. When we re emotionally unstable we can never make a right choice/decision.

I have a friend who hits her child with a plastic scale but not brutally or forcely. Calmly she explains what wrong they have done n ask them what they could have done better n ask them show palm n gentle tap.

Only if I could follow her example, before settling or calming I won't raise my voice or hit. It's instantaneous reaction. No time to think n respond. Inspite of knowing it all, following is very hard.