From rebellious to submission and love

I want to share my testimony in this regard. - hope it’s not too late.🥰
When I got married I did/wanted to do everything my self. I got pregnant as soon as we got married, so we didn’t even set up our home yet. I stayed at my in-laws place initially. And then came home (to my parents) for confinement etc. There was always a cook and a cleaning lady in both homes. But I still did everything for my husband.
After my son was born. My husband and I set up home and moved into our own place. My son was 2 months old. - we moved so early because my in-laws wanted us to move back in with them. My husbands sister was also there my in-laws wanted her to bring up my son so that she will not feel bad about the delay with child bearing. They even stopped their maid and wanted me to go there and cook/clean for them.
Even after we moved away, every single day was a struggle. After a c-section, with a two month old I had to care for my pets (my husband got 2 boxer dogs🤣) my house, my husband and my child. When I couldn’t do all the work if my husband helped, his mom and dad would be so upset and it would cause us to fight so much. The first two months that we moved away we ended up spending more than ₹20,000 each month on petrol alone. Every free moment they would demand that we ran back there.
I was so broken and tired and just taken for granted.
After a point I broke. I became very rebellious. I stopped doing any work. If it was for my son I did stuff. Otherwise the house was a mess, the laundry was undone, and I just went off the deep end. I stopped speaking to my in-laws. We hired help with all the work. And my husband sort of started having a turn around moment.
I was clinically depressed and dis-interested in life. God really spoke to my husband. My husband changed slowly but surely. He apologised to me for all that had happened. But my heart was so hardened. I loved him dearly but I was so humiliated and drained I just didn’t want to process anything that was happening around me. I was so bitter and unforgiving.
That’s went I got very sick. Since then to a little after my daughter was born I was so sick and unable to do much. My husband stepped up and started doing almost everything. He helped with what ever he could do. There have been days where he would clean my son, the place and then come help clean me because I was projectile vomiting everywhere.
This softened my heart towards him and this cause me to submit myself to God.
Slowly God allowed me to mend our broken relationship.
My in-laws are still not able to fully accept me, but today by God’s grace things are much much better.

I share this because in a marriage things get messy. We tend to think that talking to some one is the easiest way to convey or needs/wants/expectations. And raising kids is not a walk in any park.🤣😁
It is easier to go to God. He will intervene for us and when we are wronged He will stand for us, protect us from hurt and do it in such a way that our loved ones don’t get hurt  or loose face either.

My prayer’s answers regarding my house or husband have not always been yes and amen. But HE strengthens me when it is a no. To overcome and face it with the strength that I can’t find in me.
Being an emotional person I let emotions wrap me up. But God in His grace, undid all the hurt that I managed to carry around. The easiest way is to bring it to God before the fight,frustration, tired irritation, helpless feeling.
He will help. He can make the sun stand still, the days longer, our bones stronger, give us supernatural power, even the rocks could walk in and clean the house....😂🤣.

Today my husband and I do almost all the work together. When we are not able to without invitation and on more than one occasion, friends and family have walked in and said I am going to clean go sleep.
No matter what don’t let satan steal the love and joy in your house. God is not an impractical person. He is a realist who will send help in one way or another because His word promises that He will supply all your needs, according to His riches.

What to pray for?

Hi Ladies,
We ought to pray for ourselves, our husband, children and extended family everyday. Please share your fervent prayer points that you think will be applicable for others blessings also.
Something I learnt was to pray 1.For Fruit of the Spirit everyday for myself and my husband.
2.For God's armor protection everyday
Please add if you think we should be vigilant and pray for anyother key and specific blessing each day to cover our families.

Colossians1:7-14 prayer
1) Requesting direction - Fill us with the knowledge of your will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding

2) Request to walk worthy of Christ's name - Help us to walk in a manner so that our conversation, conduct and character are consistent with JESUS

3) Requesting that our Life will make an impact- help us to bear fruit in every Good work

4) Requesting a desire to know God - Increase in the knowledge of God

5) Requesting to experience the power of God - Strengthened with all power according to his glorious might

6) Requesting to have the right attitude by joyously giving thanks - joyously give thanks to God

👆🏻 i used pray this for my family ( me, husband and kids)

Ask God to show you where you are just existing in your marriage. Then ask Him to help you connect in a way that allows you to cherish each other and your marriage.

👆🏻 recently learned this prayer

No help from spouse

How do we manage our kids and the chores at home if our better half doesn’t play a significant role?
Day by day I’m draining physically and mentally
Btw I work too😞I’m tired and want to know inputs from gals who are going through a phase like me but I don’t want to disclose it
From a shocker mom.

Answer 1:My best practical advice would be.. Better to outsource your work. If he s not capable/willing to work, employ helper. My dad wud say.. if you can afford.. u can set aside upto 10% of Ur salary for helper. By which you are helping somebody n as well can manage Ur home better
I have been in that place.. few yrs ago.. my husband being college principal wud start early n come home late.. weekends he had to work/travel. I was with 3 yr n Ard 1 yr old boys in a chaotic neighborhood.

Answer 2: First thing i understand it's very difficult. But keep consistently in prayers for positive understanding and support...Do believe me Nothing is impossible with God ...it may take months or years ...but definitely things will change and you will be amazed to see how God can hear our prayers...
Start your day with prayer and Bible reading early morning.. then plan your day that you will finish all cooking in the morning itself....For e.g.

1. the curry you make should go with rice/ chapati/ dosa/idly...
2. Bottle puliyodharai mix, lemon mix, tomato thokku etc . On weekends ....

3. Make cutlets and stuff in freezer for bread will be used often in US....

These are few things which I heard from my friends in US if it suits your family style of eating...also heard on one friend who cooks for entire week and stuffs in freezer..again it depends on your husband's choice..
My personal experience, while at home,  whenever I get up late and then try to cook, at the same time attend to kids needs, hubby needs...I end up in a mess...will start shouting...I expect from my hubby to take care of kids since he is wfh ...then all mess up..I feel guilty for shouting as well...I later realised that if my hubby is not at home I do all my routine chores happily..but only when he is there I over expect from him which becomes a mess... I felt God teaching me to enjoy my hubby presence at home rather than me making it a mess and turning into a nagging person...just wanted to share for those are struggling.. sometimes we over expect from our spouse and affect family peace bcoz I as an individual did not plan the day well...Again every day it's God's grace...even when I was at home for few months I was back on track only after I disciplined my morning prayer and bible reading as the first thing on the day...God taught me how to organise the day and use it wisely..

Answer 3: Other thing I notice in myself is ‘lack of appreciation’! Men like being appreciated. In fact who would not. Even if they do little help pls appreciate.

Very true. Experienced the same. Would long for hubby to WFH but when he's at home will think it would have been better if he had gone to office.

*Expectation*

But the small thought once Sharon Daniel shared that whatever hubby does is a help n be thankful for it, never complain or expect - changed my mindset

Answer 4 :I always complain that my husband doesn’t help in anything in the morning. He doesn’t even take towel when he goes to bath and keeps calling for towel when we are busy with ten things at least.
So it always kept me irritated
But now when I look back, on all those days, without cursing me for not boarding my morning shuttle which comes so close to my house, he always have dropped me at distant places for 9 am shuttle or out buses in spite of heavy traffic, which gets him late to his work.
And he never complained also, unlike me who always finds ways to complain.
Start appreciating for little things to begin with!

So much wisdom! ❤😁 I lash out in frustration/anger/tired state of being too. 😬God has been pushing me to unlearn that and alter my very nature in this aspect.

Answer 5
1. Surrender it completely to the LORD. Pray, read the Word of GOD and start your day. Believe me GOD gives you wisdom & strength to do it. Had been through this. Now started doing my work enthusiastically. Also, the LORD will make ur spouse understand.

2. Consider Prov 31. She does a lot of work. Last to sleep and first to get up. Do all ur work cheerfully. Work as to the LORD and not to men (Col 3:23,24). Not only the office work but also the household chores.

3. Discuss with ur spouse politely. Some men expect to be told explicitly (like mine 😜)  on what needs to be done rather than they doing it voluntarily. May be talk to him if he can help you by taking care of few things.

4. Pls try OPOS cooking if cooking takes u much time. It saves a lot of time. You can learn this during weekends and then implement. No need to keep standing and sautéing.. just layer and wait for whistles. Contact me for more details.

I try to get his help in anything except cooking.. my kitchen will be a mess if he comes to help me out there.. so I’m happy if he doesn’t help me in kitchen 😆

5. Play some songs when u do ur chores.. let kids help you too in some chores - folding clothes, loading & unloading washing machines or dishwasher, packing their snacks box etc

“Therefore, *whatever* you do, *do it heartily* as to the LORD and not to men,
Knowing that *you will receive the reward* of the inheritance for you serve the LORD CHRIST” - Colossians 3:23,24

Answer 6:

Do it as for the Lord
Never complain/compare

I am failing in these and still learning as He teaches me.

If you can do the chores -  praise God
If can't finish every task, still lotta pending - rest in His love.

*Condition of our heart more important than of our house.*

what I learnt this Sunday sermon(Martha Mary) Lord Jesus didn't mean that serving is not good, only praying is good. Condition of the heart - very purpose is important.
Must pray, listen His word, do the chores, take care of family, go to work - we may not be perfect in every aspect. That's ok. but are we worried/anxious/afraid what others wud think? Or are we enjoying His presence  in everything we do(perfect or not).

For e.g.
I always get ready on time, last minute. So with kids you know. And if I'm late I used to blame/complain all the way. Now if I'm late, will say a prayer and ASK his grace.

Me worrying not gonna change the situation. but trusting in Him and casting my cares on Him lightens my burden. Gives the kids happy moment avoiding stressed/unlikely sitn

When I shared with my daughter she asked how can one glorify God by chores? I had the same doubt too. But God looks at our heart. I am a full time homemaker(last 8 yrs) and I hate *every* house chores except cooking. Irritated by routine(I feel like robot). My house is a mess. But God is helping me n teaching me. And am still a novice.

This sermon came as an encouragement. Reaffirmation of what God is teaching me. Sharing so that it may help someone

Give and getting back t.i.m.e

Just a very small testimony. I am not finding  time to attend the fellowship activities. I always sit with the phone and laptop for office work all through my journey. But yesterday I went for Tuesday prayer in spite of some busy activities due for the day. I don’t know how and what! I didn’t open laptop during my return journey. God definitely adds hours to his people who please him. (At least I tried pleasing him yesterday) It doesn’t mean he literally adds hours, but he makes things easy for us, and that way he saves our time. (Just my experience I wanted to share.)

Lessons from Leah

[7/9, 6:20 PM] : One story from the Bible seems especially steeped in disappointment. Jacob agreed to work 7 years for the right to marry his boss’s daughter Rachel. But after fulfilling his contract, Jacob got a wedding night surprise. In the morning he discovered not Rachel but her sister Leah.

We focus on Jacob’s disappointment, but imagine how Leah must have felt! What hopes and dreams of hers began to die that day as she was forced to marry a man who did not love or want her?

Psalm 37:4 tells us, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Are we to believe that God-fearing people are never disappointed? No, the psalm clearly shows that the writer sees injustice all around him. But he takes the long view: “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him” (v. 7). His conclusion: “The meek will inherit the land” (v. 11).

In the end, it was Leah whom Jacob honored and buried in the family grave plot with Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah (Gen. 49:31). And it was through the lineage of Leah—who in life thought she was unloved—that God blessed the world with our Savior. Jesus brings justice, restores hope, and gives us an inheritance beyond our wildest dreams.
[7/9, 6:21 PM] Cecilia: Came across this , the meek will inherit the Land !
[7/9, 7:09 PM] Juliet: How true!! I was surprised to see how Leah was good and blessed than Rachel when I did a detailed study for “Women in the Bible” sometime back... a new perception

Leah didn’t envy, steal, lie but glorified GOD after every child birth in choosing names... she was unloved by her own husband but loved by the eternal bridegroom.. Levi and Judah tribes come from her.. she herself bore 6 sons..

Rachel envied, stole the idol, lied to her father.. first to give her maid as wife..

People name their kids after her just for the beauty may be.. Leah is also a good name and in fact better 😊
[7/9, 9:01 PM] : God must have honored Leah’s cry for love
[7/9, 11:39 PM] : True the prayers of His parents didn’t  fall on deaf ears. 😬 Our God fulfils His promises no matter who claims them. V just need to understand the authority we have and speak them over our lives and over the lives of those we love in faith. ❤
[7/9, 11:46 PM]: It is said that after Jacob wrestles with God he had a limp all his life. Because his hip was out of joint. If Jacob didn’t cheat maybe just maybe he would have been able to meet Laban and with his parents support marry the girl he wanted without being taken advantage of and then wouldn’t have had to fight with God.
For God had already decided to bless his entire family.
[7/9, 11:47 PM] : Sometimes we mess up our own lives in pursuit of the best forgetting that His plans for us are better that even our wildest dreams.
[7/9, 11:55 PM] : We tend to assume blessing happen with miracles.. abraham, issac, jacob are testimony for how much effort it takes to get the blessing to manifest and reflect in life..
[7/10, 4:57 AM] : 👌🏼 very true.

Jacob cheated his bro tricked his dad yo get the blessing. But that didn't make his life better. He had to run for His own life soon after receiving the blessing, that too from his very own brother.

But
1. God's encounter with Jacob by dream and His Promise/covenant(made to Abraham) at Bethel.

2. Jacob's heart believing God n receiving the promise(vow)

That's the turning point. Not just that. Even while he was away from his fathers home in a foreign land *Gen 31:13*, while running away from his father in law *Gen 31:42* and while he returned after two decades with fear and distress before meeting Esau *Gen 32:9-12*, he still believed.

Life wasn't easier for him but still he believed in God n claimed His promises. Whereas Esau was mighty n had become a great ruler/nation. But one who was promised had to wait.

We often mess with our lives. But are we turning to God? Are we trusting God in difficult situation? Are we claiming His promises in impossible circumstances?

Healing from above

I'll share what i meant by sharing...

I had gone through mental illness,i guess still i am..everyone in my family!

For 22 years i had seen Physical and mental abuses of my parents.
They abuse each other. Publically, Privately...
There was not a place they never shouted,quarrelled,abused at each other...
Every night since child hood i used to cry myself to sleep... Every day they fight, every night they fight...

My longing prayer since childhood, is God please take them away or take me away.. sometimes i prayed to God to take my life just so that they can part their ways and move on with each other...
Children who usually being raise in this situation will bcme  mentally affected/ their studies will get weak/ they get affected psychologically. There was never a soul to ask me how i am.
But as a single child i am,God made sure i was protected from all those things...

You are seeing me happy and sane ,100% his grace and protection over my life.
He thought, "poor kid having a hard time, let me raise her up!"

He took me into his arms, he helped me speak to him in all those nights and days.He made sure there is always a soul to look after me or be with. He made sure i didnt go insane!

I should have also been treat psychologically as my mom and my Father but He made sure Am protected under His wings..

I have experienced what mental Illness is. I had a very dark childhood, that even now i fear if i think I'd go crazy!
But As Long as He is there for us,we dont need to worry about anything.

My parents stand as a testimony from divorce! They united in applying divorce in court, but God united them in soul and Spirit again!

If anyone can heal a soul, it's only Him❤

It you feel you are going through mental illness, stay there,He is with you in there!
Remember to whom you committed your soul and body with!

Fgb testimony- school for kids

Praise God for Olive school

I am an FGB. We were searching for school this year for my elder son. My husband wanted to put my son in NSN or Vivekananda (they don't even teach Johnny, Johnny yes papa because Johnny is a Christian name) in chitlapakam. But I wanted to put my son in a Christian school because I received salvation through aChristian school. I knew my God may have some other salvation plan for my kids since God already told me that (Genesis 17:7 - to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.) he will be our GOD. But it is my desire that my kids should study in a Christian school.
Before this incident ,God had taught me that “BOLD PRAYERES HONOURS GOD” so I decided to pray like this “God I don’t need any recommendation but I need Yours” After this prayer , things started to happen in other way, like my husband began to search higher authorities' recommendations. I was asking God to help me in my unbelief. As days went by my husband started to seek people’s help very badly which I did not want to happen . But God strengthened me in amazing ways in all these situations.
Praise God that he closed all the unnecessary doors which is not according his will and opened the door for Olive school. One day while I was on my way to office, God spoke to me through the word OLIVE - Thy children will be like olive. For my surprise the same verse was written everywhere in that school. Finally June 8th we paid the fees in olive public and June 10th was my son’s first day to school.
Important thing here is my husband doesnt know even a single bit of my heart’s desire but our LORD JESUS knows everything and he granted my request.

Yeah!!!! Praise be to his Glorious name.

Tv time tips for parents

[5/21, 2:59 PM] Beulah: How many of you, have no TV at home? And how do you handle it?
[5/21, 3:03 PM] Jansi Word Of: No screentime for kids? (Reframe the question) my 1.25 is already glued to screen at times
[5/21, 3:05 PM] Rosy Priyan Fshp: I think if they are not exposed, it doesn't become an issue at all..
[5/21, 3:05 PM] Rosy Priyan Fshp: My kids watch though.
[5/21, 3:06 PM] Beulah: We don't have a TV at home. But they are used to watching phone, which I think is worse than the TV😒😐
[5/21, 3:11 PM] Rexlin: Laptop is better than mobile... With restricted timings... Strictly to be followed....

Not to have any games in mobile...
I installed few bible puzzle games recently and dealing with it now.. 🤷🏼‍♀
[5/21, 3:11 PM] Rexlin: Try new board games along with them when they ask for mobile / laptop
[5/21, 3:12 PM] Rexlin: Mobile should not be reachable to them... 😉
[5/21, 3:13 PM] Beulah: True, but they get it someone when we use it for calls.
[5/21, 3:18 PM] Prarthana: Agree..  we too don't have TV but my son is fond of mobiles and he is just 1.7 years.. I try my best to engage him with other toys but he goes for the mobile .. it's because of the colourful motion pictures..
[5/21, 3:21 PM] Jansi Word Of: Hmm and I think they must be exposed to at least few good things they can engage with, with strict supervision and time control.
[5/21, 3:21 PM] Jansi Word Of: If we don’t teach them, the world would, obviously down the line
[5/21, 3:31 PM] Janani mcity: As a child I was glued to Tv whenever it's on. Even now when screen is on my eyes will be glued. I don't want my kids to be like me. Though I have strict screen times for them, they do pop in front of the tv. Lesser the better I feel.
1. I minimise taking mobile when they're home.
2. Tab, laptop - Password secured
3. TV Remote not reachable earlier (now in front but they ask if wanna watch)
4. Set time before turning on.
5. Less than 2 yr - NO gadgets- as it affects the brain/neural development not just eyes.
6. Better to avoid mobile/tab(very close to eyes)
[5/21, 4:36 PM] Sharon Preeti: No TV at home, but kids do have screen time. We have a desktop computer with a big screen, which doubles up as 'TV', of course, controlled content.

What I do? I am guilty of spending much time on phone. Trying to reduce usage. One thing I do is, I avoid phone from about 9 AM to 12, so I can have focussed time with the kids. I pick up phone calls, though, which I usually don't have many of.

For kids: they usually have 30 minutes of 'TV time' in the evenings after they clean up plus on some days, a few minutes here and there of some supervised content, usually educational or seeing photos, on the computer or phone screen. No unsupervised phone or tablet for kids. I know screen is not good for less than 2 years, but my 20 month also watches with his brothers, 😔 because it is very hard to engage him in something else when other kids are watching. He is drawn to thr screen.

How we manage? I think it harder to introduce and then stop. At one point, they were getting out of hand watching TV at grandparents place - they live right down the stairs. We had to lay down rules and also teach kids why we don't watch certain shows. It is easier to control time on the computer because we choose one episode and watch through it. So it's usually 30 mins.
[5/21, 4:39 PM] Sharon Preeti: And I think it is easier to manage when I am not glued to the phone 😁
[5/21, 4:42 PM] Beu Sam: In my house, the kids have chores and they earn their TV privilege to watch 2 episodes of wild Kratts which are about animals. When they lie, or not obeying, the first punishment will be no TV for a week... since my 4 yr is still in preschool, she gets to play some learning games in my phone for another hour... they both love to sing songs... me n my husband don't play anything other than Christian songs at home or in car/ van...  we watch couple of programs ( like amazing race, sea world) with the kids during weekends... otherwise, they will play in their room when the TV is on..
[5/21, 4:45 PM] Beu Sam: If we limit our TV time, it will be much easier to make them understand the TV time... so, when it is my TV time, they aren't suppose to watch if they don't want to loose their TV time😝
[5/21, 4:46 PM] Kani: I don't watch TV . And I don't mostly use phone in front of her.
We subscribed few channels but now we shut t down.
She uses phone while eating alone. Less than one hour screen per day s my rule.
Other than eating time no other time mobile to her.
I observed that when I dont use phone she doesn't bother much only wen I use it she cries for it. But others using is real challenge , she some how manages to get from my MIL. Dont know how to control it. I m praying that she starts  somehow to dislike it by herself.
[5/21, 4:51 PM] Kani: But I started disliking it recently. I believe wen I dont expose her for a prolonged period I mean for really looong period they ll dislike t. I stopped watching movies since 2007 till 2012, I mean zero movies or any entertainment in those 6 yrs by Gods supernatural grace. . I do watch now and then. . I do watch but that addiction is totally gone down to almost zero. So I m praying so.
[5/21, 4:52 PM] Kani: After 2012 now and then I m watching now. But I m out of t now.