Monday, July 29, 2019

From rebellious to submission and love

I want to share my testimony in this regard. - hope it’s not too late.🥰
When I got married I did/wanted to do everything my self. I got pregnant as soon as we got married, so we didn’t even set up our home yet. I stayed at my in-laws place initially. And then came home (to my parents) for confinement etc. There was always a cook and a cleaning lady in both homes. But I still did everything for my husband.
After my son was born. My husband and I set up home and moved into our own place. My son was 2 months old. - we moved so early because my in-laws wanted us to move back in with them. My husbands sister was also there my in-laws wanted her to bring up my son so that she will not feel bad about the delay with child bearing. They even stopped their maid and wanted me to go there and cook/clean for them.
Even after we moved away, every single day was a struggle. After a c-section, with a two month old I had to care for my pets (my husband got 2 boxer dogs🤣) my house, my husband and my child. When I couldn’t do all the work if my husband helped, his mom and dad would be so upset and it would cause us to fight so much. The first two months that we moved away we ended up spending more than ₹20,000 each month on petrol alone. Every free moment they would demand that we ran back there.
I was so broken and tired and just taken for granted.
After a point I broke. I became very rebellious. I stopped doing any work. If it was for my son I did stuff. Otherwise the house was a mess, the laundry was undone, and I just went off the deep end. I stopped speaking to my in-laws. We hired help with all the work. And my husband sort of started having a turn around moment.
I was clinically depressed and dis-interested in life. God really spoke to my husband. My husband changed slowly but surely. He apologised to me for all that had happened. But my heart was so hardened. I loved him dearly but I was so humiliated and drained I just didn’t want to process anything that was happening around me. I was so bitter and unforgiving.
That’s went I got very sick. Since then to a little after my daughter was born I was so sick and unable to do much. My husband stepped up and started doing almost everything. He helped with what ever he could do. There have been days where he would clean my son, the place and then come help clean me because I was projectile vomiting everywhere.
This softened my heart towards him and this cause me to submit myself to God.
Slowly God allowed me to mend our broken relationship.
My in-laws are still not able to fully accept me, but today by God’s grace things are much much better.

I share this because in a marriage things get messy. We tend to think that talking to some one is the easiest way to convey or needs/wants/expectations. And raising kids is not a walk in any park.🤣😁
It is easier to go to God. He will intervene for us and when we are wronged He will stand for us, protect us from hurt and do it in such a way that our loved ones don’t get hurt  or loose face either.

My prayer’s answers regarding my house or husband have not always been yes and amen. But HE strengthens me when it is a no. To overcome and face it with the strength that I can’t find in me.
Being an emotional person I let emotions wrap me up. But God in His grace, undid all the hurt that I managed to carry around. The easiest way is to bring it to God before the fight,frustration, tired irritation, helpless feeling.
He will help. He can make the sun stand still, the days longer, our bones stronger, give us supernatural power, even the rocks could walk in and clean the house....😂🤣.

Today my husband and I do almost all the work together. When we are not able to without invitation and on more than one occasion, friends and family have walked in and said I am going to clean go sleep.
No matter what don’t let satan steal the love and joy in your house. God is not an impractical person. He is a realist who will send help in one way or another because His word promises that He will supply all your needs, according to His riches.

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