How to love your in-laws.

The world gives a different picture of the relationship between mother in law and daughter in law. But that relationship can be loving and caring as well like how we are with our mothers. I'm trying to tell what God taught me over these years. This was the biggest struggle when we started married girls prayer in infy around 8 years back. But as we kept in prayers God started changing our perspectives of the way we deal with our mil

1. Truly speaking, every human being has an area of weakness however Godly we are. We need to submit ourself along with in laws into God's hands consistently in prayers first thing in the morning daily.
2. Need to ask God to consistently to heal broken hearts, hurts, wounds, past bitter memories, past incidents, any fear of being hurt, any fear of being judged,  etc. (As applicable to your situation) both in us and in laws lives. He will erase bitterness and heal us emotionally and make us strong. He will teach us to forgive and forget easily as we keep praying. I and my family have experienced transformation and God taught me a lot through Sheeba Rajasingh and many others in fshp. Today I should boast in the Lord God has me in perfect peace in my relationships. Verses below spoke to me over and over again. God taught me to humble, keep showing love and keep praying over every situation consistently. Every phase when there is a storm, I used to write down and pray for wisdom to handle the tough times.

1 Corinthians 13 1
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
3. Always try to please God in every aspect. Never try/expect to get recognition from any person in the world.
4. Practically if you notice,  Our own parents make mistakes. Some times We lose temper and we may fight, argue or hurt them. But then we patch up easily and start loving them easily. It happens automatically many a times and we don't think or remember it much. Same love if we ask from God, he is ready to pour out on us so that we can show the agape love to our in laws as well. You will start taking extra miles like how we usually do for our parents to make them feel that we love them, care for them and we Honor them. Its not easy. Only God can give the heart to us individually that we need to take care and Honor them always despite their and our weaknesses.

Nothing is impossible with God. He can heal and mend relationships which is hard in our eyes. He can make us emotionally strong than ever before.

From rebellious to submission and love

I want to share my testimony in this regard. - hope it’s not too late.🥰
When I got married I did/wanted to do everything my self. I got pregnant as soon as we got married, so we didn’t even set up our home yet. I stayed at my in-laws place initially. And then came home (to my parents) for confinement etc. There was always a cook and a cleaning lady in both homes. But I still did everything for my husband.
After my son was born. My husband and I set up home and moved into our own place. My son was 2 months old. - we moved so early because my in-laws wanted us to move back in with them. My husbands sister was also there my in-laws wanted her to bring up my son so that she will not feel bad about the delay with child bearing. They even stopped their maid and wanted me to go there and cook/clean for them.
Even after we moved away, every single day was a struggle. After a c-section, with a two month old I had to care for my pets (my husband got 2 boxer dogs🤣) my house, my husband and my child. When I couldn’t do all the work if my husband helped, his mom and dad would be so upset and it would cause us to fight so much. The first two months that we moved away we ended up spending more than ₹20,000 each month on petrol alone. Every free moment they would demand that we ran back there.
I was so broken and tired and just taken for granted.
After a point I broke. I became very rebellious. I stopped doing any work. If it was for my son I did stuff. Otherwise the house was a mess, the laundry was undone, and I just went off the deep end. I stopped speaking to my in-laws. We hired help with all the work. And my husband sort of started having a turn around moment.
I was clinically depressed and dis-interested in life. God really spoke to my husband. My husband changed slowly but surely. He apologised to me for all that had happened. But my heart was so hardened. I loved him dearly but I was so humiliated and drained I just didn’t want to process anything that was happening around me. I was so bitter and unforgiving.
That’s went I got very sick. Since then to a little after my daughter was born I was so sick and unable to do much. My husband stepped up and started doing almost everything. He helped with what ever he could do. There have been days where he would clean my son, the place and then come help clean me because I was projectile vomiting everywhere.
This softened my heart towards him and this cause me to submit myself to God.
Slowly God allowed me to mend our broken relationship.
My in-laws are still not able to fully accept me, but today by God’s grace things are much much better.

I share this because in a marriage things get messy. We tend to think that talking to some one is the easiest way to convey or needs/wants/expectations. And raising kids is not a walk in any park.🤣😁
It is easier to go to God. He will intervene for us and when we are wronged He will stand for us, protect us from hurt and do it in such a way that our loved ones don’t get hurt  or loose face either.

My prayer’s answers regarding my house or husband have not always been yes and amen. But HE strengthens me when it is a no. To overcome and face it with the strength that I can’t find in me.
Being an emotional person I let emotions wrap me up. But God in His grace, undid all the hurt that I managed to carry around. The easiest way is to bring it to God before the fight,frustration, tired irritation, helpless feeling.
He will help. He can make the sun stand still, the days longer, our bones stronger, give us supernatural power, even the rocks could walk in and clean the house....😂🤣.

Today my husband and I do almost all the work together. When we are not able to without invitation and on more than one occasion, friends and family have walked in and said I am going to clean go sleep.
No matter what don’t let satan steal the love and joy in your house. God is not an impractical person. He is a realist who will send help in one way or another because His word promises that He will supply all your needs, according to His riches.

Relationship with In-laws restored.

Basically, I have got very loving parents-in-law. Both are doing some kind of ministries now. I never felt, that am away from my family (after marriage), until I left for delivery to my parent’s place. When I was pregnant, my mother-in-law used to get up early and cook for me before I leave to office at 7.15 AM. I had work pressure at office and I used to be very tired, due to pregnancy. Both my in-laws and my husband, made sure that I have everything that I need. My husband used to peel pomegranate every day and keep it in the box, daily and will make my lunch bag ready. My Father-in-law will make sure that I have my favorite sweets at home. After delivering my baby boy, there started misunderstandings between my parents’ family and my in-laws family. Though, there were mistakes from both sides, it brought misunderstanding between me and my husband too. Whenever he calls up, it would end up in fight. I got frustrated and felt very depressed. And my relationship with my heavenly father also got deteriorated. It showed some physical problems as well. Eight months after delivery, when I came to Chennai (my in-law’s place), the situation become still more worsened. I was not able to tolerate the mistakes they did/do, sometimes I comment in front of them, whenever I get a chance. Though it pricked me sometimes, I could not control my tongue. I couldn’t live a peaceful life. After doing all these, I will cry in my lonely time with God. Slowly, God made me to realize the mistakes that I did and helped me to forgive whatever they did. Praise the Lord!! Though, I may get reminded of, God helped to understand their situations and made me learn how to lead through. Both my in-laws used to tell something good about me to others, atleast when I am around. This also, made me think well about them. Though, I have not told the goodness about them, many a times, but I love to do it now. I believe this is one of the qualities to build up a good relationship. I recommended this to my Mom too, a tip to treat her daughter-in-law. God is helping me, to hear what they say and obey to it. It was quite hard, difficult initially, as it is God who said, there is no turning back. God expects to obey elders, for we are children of God. Even now, God is teaching me, to teach my son, to give respect/obey to what they say and to show his love to them. My father-in-law is so attached to my son and so is my son to both my in-laws. Sometimes, I tried to overrule what they say. But, what they said had only happened. So, I stated leaving it to God. I have noted many times, He wants us to respect elders. If I find something is not acceptable, God is helping me to leave it in prayer. And God takes over. There are some issues still, but I believe that God is at work. He will resolve everything. I Praise God, for he took over my life and brought back the peace. I pray that I should not destroy the peace, but to multiply it in folds that we have now. Thanks for reading!! Praise the Lord!! Amen!

Struggles after quitting job

When I was in last few months of pregnancy, I decided to quit due to work pressure. I quit Infosys in May 2014, thinking of changing my career as a lecturer, as I had completed my M.E. degree before joining Infosys. My in-laws were quite happy about it, as in their family history, nobody worked after having baby. But, my parents’ and my siblings were unhappy about the decision, for all were working. My husband insisted me to stay at home and take care of our baby atleast until he is atleast one year old. I obeyed him and didn’t try for any job till 2015. Later with my husband’s help, I started looking for job in various colleges, but didn’t get any call. In the same year, my husband who is a Civil Engineer lost his job, as there were layoffs, after Mugalivakkam incident. Since his field was down at Chennai, for around 4 months, he didn’t get any job in Chennai. We didn’t have peace at home, as there was a financial crisis. But, God lead us through. I praise God for it. In April 2015, he got a job in Muscat (Oman) with a reasonable pay to lead our life. This was according to God’s will. After, he left to Muscat, I was in Chennai, with my son and in-laws. I became so depressed, for I didn’t have a job and felt so helpless. I could only send applications to colleges through post or e-mail, as I had to take care of my son. I used to cry at night and lament at God’s feet for hours, after making my child sleep. I had pressures from my parents, for I am jobless and idle. Whenever I go to my parents’ place, they started giving me money, as I do not have a job to earn it. This made me still more depressed, and I stopped going to my parent’s place too. In August 2017, by God’s grace, I applied for PhD on the last day for submission of Application. I started studying for the entrance exam. Since, it was around 9 years after completed my M.E degree, it was so very difficult to cope with it. Also, I didn’t have enough support from my in-laws too. Already I started showing my inability and depression to my kid (as my husband is not around), yelling at him, for simple things. One day, when I was in the kitchen, cooking for the day, and there was no one around, I felt so helpless and crying talking to God, about the exam, which seemed to be the only hope for me. When I was crying, Holy Spirit talked to me, in a mild voice that he has this for me and I will get through it. I was so relieved, as I got confirmation from God. He made my husband to come Chennai, on a medical emergency. But he was alright, to our surprise. Though, he was here, I could not study well, as my son was sticking to me. On the day of entrance exam, the exam was very tough; I know the answer for only around 5 questions. But I attended all the questions in prayer. Since, I got the confirmation from God, I was confident that I will get into. To my surprise, especially my Father-in-law (who was against going for a job leaving my child), started praying (in family prayer) for I should get through. Nobody, except me, know about God’s promise. When my results came out, both my in-laws were very happy. I joined college in January 2017 (as a full time Research scholar). Now, my in-laws are taking care of my son, full-time. God has changed all the situations upside down in his right time. Initially, I sometime argue with my MIL, especially. But God has made me to understand their situation better, and submit my way to God. They are sacrificing their personal works for my son and me. And God has helped me to get up early, and complete cooking before I leave to college. Though, it is difficult, during exam time, God has made my MIL to take care of household works for me additionally. I praise God for He has done everything in HIS time. I praise God for them and their health too. Still, my husband is in Muscat. We are praying for God’s will to be done in our life. Thanks for reading through this long testimony!! Praise be to God! Amen!!